#FunnyVeles
Funny
– which means funny.
#FunnyVeles is a series of humorous notes, anecdotes and jokes from Veles Enterprises.
Joke
This is a phrase or a short text with humorous content. It can be in various forms, such as a question/answer or a short story. To achieve its humorous goal, a joke can use irony, sarcasm, wordplay, and other methods.
Anecdote
An anecdote is a short funny story. Most often, an anecdote is characterized by an unexpected semantic resolution at the very end, which gives rise to laughter.
A series of small anecdotes
I went to a fitness club, sat on a bicycle, after a while the instructor asked:
– Why don’t you pedal?
– I’m on the descent…
The fifth of January is a national Russian holiday.
The day of the first meal preparation in the new year!
Looking into the refrigerator is a reflex.
We don’t want to eat, but we need to check if the bulb is burned out.
In the store:
– Do you like wireless headphones?
– Come on, I’ll take the self-entangled ones again.
— Why have you been putting a calculator under your pillow before going to bed for 20 years?
— School. Someone in the middle of the night should wake me up and ask for the multiplication table.
Anecdotes about lawyers
The client reviews the invoices issued by the lawyer:
– What does it mean: “Lunch break tips”?
“Don’t you remember?” I then advised you to order fish fillets.
– Defendant, why did you retract your confession?
“The lawyer convinced me that I was innocent.
The client reproaches the lawyer:
“You assured me that you would get my wife acquitted, but she was sentenced to a year of forced labor…
“But she didn’t give me the word to interject at the trial!” The lawyer exclaimed.
The old lawyer advises the young one:
“When you defend someone in court, try to talk longer.
The longer you talk, the longer your client will stay free.
In a legal consultation, the client asks the lawyer:
“The neighbor called me a fat blockhead. What should I do?
“Try to lose weight,” the lawyer said convincingly.
Attorney:
“Before reading the will of the late master, I would like to ask his widow a question.
Madam, will you consent to marry me?…
Source: Free Internet
The article was prepared by: Valerii Veles
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